


Football Players, Hicks, and Pirates

by IowaGuy1979



Series: Life is Letterkenny [1]
Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Attempt at Humor, Stupidity, gross humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-16 05:15:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29076945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IowaGuy1979/pseuds/IowaGuy1979
Summary: Couple o' football players come up t' the dorm steps, the other day.
Series: Life is Letterkenny [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2135163
Kudos: 1





	Football Players, Hicks, and Pirates

Zachary and Logan stepped in front of the stairs to the Blackwell dorms. Max and Chloe lounged on them, seemingly not even giving the remotest fuck that the two boys were there.

“I don’t think you’re allowed to be around here, Price”, Logan said.

“Well, your mother should have swallowed you, but, here we are”, the bluenette replied in a neutral tone.

“Wha .. What the fuck.. What the..?”, he sputtered.

“Nice execution”, Max said.

“You’re doin’ terrific”, said Chloe.

“Heard about that break up with Rachel.”, Zach said.

“What’s it to ya?”

‘Heard she cheated on ya. With Jefferson”

Logan laughed, “That’s a real ouchie, there.”

“It’s not like you can do anything about it, though. Chicks can’t fight worth shit, not really.”, sneered Zack.

“Maybe if you’d ever been in a real fight, you might not be so keen for another.”

“The fuck you say?”, snarled Logan.

Chloe tossed down the blade of grass she’d been worrying between her fingers. “You heard me.”

Logan pulled off his shirt. ‘You lookin’ for a tilly, bitch? Let’s have a donnybrook!”

“Pump the brakes”, Max said. “You take your shirt off, but leave your sunglasses on?”

“What sort of backwards fuckin’ pageantry is that?”, Chloe smirked.

“Gonna fight in those shades, or play pokerstars.com?”, Max snarked.

Zach took off his shirt “Go time!” “Go time!” No one was sure who said which.

Look at that fuckin’ treasure trail.”, Max said, looking at Zach in mild disgust.

“What’s up with your fuckin’ body hair, big shoots? You look like a 12 year old Dutch girl.”, said the taller woman. “Your ass-tatian coif that for ya?”

“You can kiss my ass-tatian. You guys do cross fit?”, Max said.

“You can cross fuck off.”, said the bluenette.

Max said to Logan, “How many times have you pulled your horn today, bud?”

The quad went silent.

“What? What are you..?”

“Aw, she’s bashful”, she said, in a mockery of concern

“Oh come on, kitten, I won’t tell anyone.” Chloe. “Ballpark, 6 to 8? You’re a fuckin’ animal.”

A throat was cleared.

“Gentlemen, I realize that, as part of how our hallowed institution is perceived, you are very important. But, you are not indispensable. Please go collect yourselves, and calm down.”

Principal Raymond Wells glowered at the assembly.

They both turned to the childhood friends, saying “This isn’t over!”, in unison.

“Jinx. You owe me a Coke.”, snarked Max, in a deadpan tone.

“..never gonna buy you a Coke”, Zach muttered, as they left.

“Now, Miss Price, I believe that you are banned from these grounds, permanently. You will remove yourself, with all due alacrity.” So saying, the always grumpy lush moved off towards his residence.

“Those were some A-1 beatdowns.”, Chloe said. Max nodded.

“It’s a hard life, saving your amazing ass from death. But, as sure as god's got sandals, it beats fighting dudes with treasure trails.”

Both girls roared with laughter. They stood up and headed to the parking lot.

**Author's Note:**

> I stole this from the opening of the first episode of the Canadian show Letterkenny. Adjusting for the game, 'course.
> 
> Hope your brain isn't too damaged!
> 
> I don't own Life Is Strange, Letterkenny, or any related companies.


End file.
